Providing care for a family member in need is an act of kindness, love, and loyalty. There are many different types of family caregiver situations. You may be taking care of an aging parent or a disabled spouse. Regardless of your particular situation, you’re facing a new role.

If you’re like most family caregivers, you have no formal training on your new role, “The Caregiver.” You probably never anticipated you’d be in this situation. You want your loved one to have the best possible care. The good news is that you don’t have to be a superhero, to be an exceptional caregiver. With the right resources and support, you can be the caregiver you want to be while taking good care of yourself.

Suggestions for the “First Time Caregiver”

Learn as much as you can about your family member’s diagnosis. The more you know, the more effective you’ll be.
Seek out other caregivers. It helps to know you’re not alone and that thereare other people going through the same experiences as you. Being able to connect with people, will offer support and other potential resources.
Trust your instincts. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. You know your love done inside and out-stick with your gut feelings.
Encourage your loved one’s independence. Care giving does not mean doing everything for your loved one. Be open to new strategies, technological-advancements that allow your family member to be as independent as possible.
Know your limits. Be open and honest about how much time you can give. It is healthy to ask for a break. You must openly communicate with family, friends and doctors.

Caregiving tip 1: Accept your feelings

Care giving can trigger a multitude of different emotions. This may include anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and grief. It’s important to recognize and accept what you’re feeling, both good and bad. Don’t beat yourself up over your feelings- they simply mean you are human. Even the strongest most stoic person can suffer from exhaustion, anxiety, anger or guilt. The important thing to consider, how you will address these feelings. Being open and honest with friends and family will allow you the time needed to reboot. It is okay to accept help.

Places you can turn for caregiver support include:

Family members or friends who will listen without judgment
Your church, temple, or other place of worship
Caregiver support groups and Online 24/7 Caregiver Support Lines
A therapist, social worker, or counselor
National caregiver organizations
Organizations specific to your family member’s illness or disability
Take advantage of respite care services. Respite care provides a temporary break for caregivers.

Caregiving tip 2: Don’t try to do it all

Even if you’re the primary caregiver, you can’t do everything on your own. You’ll need help from friends, family members, as well as health professionals. Getting the help and support you need, will allow you to maintain your own health and quality of life.

Before you can ask for help, you need to have a clear understanding of your love done’s needs. List all the care giving tasks required, being as specific as possible. Determine which activities you are able to complete. The remaining tasks may be the ones you may need to ask others to help you with.

Asking family and friends for help

It’s not always easy to ask for help. Perhaps you’re afraid to impose on others or worried that your request will be rejected. If you simply make your needs known, you may be pleasantly surprised by the willingness of others to pitch in. Many times, friends and family members want to contribute, but don’t know how. Here are recommendations to make it easier:

Set aside one-on-one time to talk to the person
Go over the list of caregiving needs or tasks you would like assistance with
Point out areas in which they might be able to help
Ask the person if they’d like to help, and if so, in what way
Make sure the person understands what would be most helpful to both you and your loved one